


Cherish this warmth

by DarkerParts



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Feelings, Fluff without Plot, Friends to Lovers, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi is Whipped, Lee Jihoon | Woozi is Whipped, M/M, Soonhoon - Freeform, Summer Vacation, bestfriends to lovers, howoo, word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:40:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26235046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkerParts/pseuds/DarkerParts
Summary: Inspired by Soonyoung and Jihoon's Henggarae photoshoot as well as the recent Soonhoon VCR in caratland.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 13
Kudos: 128





	Cherish this warmth

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically my take away from the Soonhoon VCR in Caratland. That one scene stuck with me and evolved into this.
> 
> This isn't even a story 😭😭😭 It's just s vomit of feelings! Anyways, enjoy?

Jihoon can't even remember saying yes. He can recall bits and pieces of discussion with his friends about a possible vacation but the end of semester was so busy, and so tiring that he barely kept his head up. He's quite literally drowning. He haven't had any good night sleep and continues to run solely by coffee and cokes. He naps here and there, but it only makes his head hurt and makes him groggy. He was working on four different song projects, three research papers, and 2 group projects. By the time he was able to survive all of that, all he can think about is a proper sleep.

You really can't blame him. He can't even cheer when he handed his final work that marks the completion of his semester. Once his brain caught up with the fact that it was his last class and the final step from freedom, it all but shuts down. He can't even remember how he was able to get home without scratch, or without dying. His brain went to autopilot and dragged his body home with the thought of _sleep and rest, sleep and rest, sleep and rest._

When he was woken up from his blissful sleep, he was honestly ready to deck someone in the face. He's not even joking. But alas, he can't because it's Yoon Jeonghan. That man holds a grudge so deep that by the time you forget what you even did, he's striking back in full force. He kids you not. That one time Seungcheol forgot to pick Jeonghan up, Seungcheol paid a great price. And Jihoon knows how to choose his battles.

"What do you want?" just because he can't punch Jeonghan doesn't mean he'll be nice. So if he sounds meaner than usually, pardon his french but he actually does not give a fuck right now.

"I knew you'd forget so I actually have a video of you agreeing on the plan, here. Watch it. While I pack your bag because I know you won't"

Jihoon doesn't want to watch it. He doesn't want to move from his body. Actually, he doesn't want to do anything but to go back to sleep. But Jeonghan moves around his room noisily. And Jihoon knows for a fact that Jeonghan's doing it in purpose. So he grabbed the phone and watched himself in what seems to be a video that was taken without his permission. He winced when he saw himself. He looks absolutely terrible. His hair is dry and unwashed, his eyebags taking over his face, and he looks pale with tiredness. He looks so disheveled, distracted and downright miserable on the video that Jihoon now knows why he can't remember agreeing, and how they made him agree in the first place.

"A vacation, huh" He muttered at himself. And yeah, that actually doesn't sound bad. Even though half of his mind is still asleep and his body feels heavy as lead, Jihoon thinks that going away might be a fresh start for the upcoming summer.

"I can't carry you, so you better get your ass up" Jeonghan threw the bagpack on the bed, and Jihoon reluctantly sat up to check what's inside. With half of his mind still working, he went to the bathroom to wash his hair and brush his teeth. He didn't even bother to change his clothes since they've all seen each other at their worst anyway.

"You sure you're not changing?"

He just nodded at Jeonghan, grabbed his bagpack and went out of his apartment. Half of his eyes is closed but that's okay since he has his place memorized. But he did wait for Jeonghan at the entrance, yawning and ready to go back to dream land. He didn't even fight it when Jeonghan dragged him not so gently and pushed him inside th car.

By the time he's seated and comfortable, he's completely losing his grip on consciousness. An arm pulled him closer, and a familiar scent invaded his nose. For some reason, his mind registered it as another safety blanket and it only helped to relax him further. Before he knows it, he's snuggling on a solid chest, and fell asleep wrapped around a muscular but soft body. And he doesn't mind one bit.

  
Soonyoung smiled down at Jihoon who's currently curled around on his side. He's almost on top of his lap with how he's tightly holding to him. He sighed. Relaxing on his seat as he rubs Jihoon's back in a comforting circle. They worked hard, and he thinks that Jihoon deserves it. So he lets his bestfriend use him as a makeshift bed. Not even moving when they stopped for food. He did ask their friends to buy the two of them some takeout. He knows that Jihoon would be so hungry by the time he wakes up.

It has been a hectic month, with all of them cramming and trying to survive the end of semester. He himself was tired as fuck, but lucky for him, he has twice the energy than his group of friends. Besides, his classes ended earlier than most of them so he was able to consume a two days worth of sleep. He's energized enough to atleast take care of Jihoon if need be.

"Hey, we're here" 

Soonyoung nodded at Minghao. Thanking God that their car is more peaceful than others. They used three cars considering that there's 13 of them. With Seungcheol, Minghao and Jeonghan as designated drivers. Since Minghao is his roommate, he was automatically put in his car. And Soonyoung is not complaining. Their car ride is peaceful, with a little bit of chatter here and there, but most of the time it's just them relaxing over some foreign song that Mingyu chooses.

"Do you want help with Jihoon?" Wonwoo asked, but he shook his head. 

"Just get my things for me will you" He told Wonwoo who gave him a mock salute. 

He carefully removed Jihoon's hold in his body. The smaller one whining a little before going back to his sleep, curling in a feral position. Soonyoung stretched a bit as he got out of the car, smiling when he saw their other friends arriving as well. Most of them asleep, or some groggy still. Soonyoung then decided to finally get inside the rented beach house. Picking Jihoon up gently, and carrying him like a baby.

Since they won't be able to pick rooms 'til everyone is up and about, Soonyoung gently laid down Jihoon on the couch. He honestly wants to put him on a bed or just maybe atleast let him lie down on a couch. But most of the space is occupied, so he just has to cope with what they have. He did make sure that he's kind of comfortable though, even if he's mostly sleeping upright. He sighed.

  
"Some of us are going to have a grocery run, and the others are going to scout the area and see what we can do while we're here" Seungcheol told him.

"I'll stay. Make sure these kids would wake up just fine" He gestured to the other ones who's occupying the living room. Chan is sprawled on the ground, uncaring of the cold floor. But Jeonghan made sure he has a pillow on his head before he himself passed out on a loveseat. Minghao too, is asleep on the other couch. Both must've been so tired driving all the way here.

"Okay, call when you need something"

"Just don't forget some tea? I probably won't let Jihoon touch any coffee this whole week" He mumbled, ignoring the knowing look Seungcheol gives him.

"Okay, that's cool. You should sleep too" 

Soonyoung gave Seungcheol a nod before sighing. He let his body relax on the couch besides Jihoon, and took the tranquility to admire him.

He doesn't remember how they met. Unlike what they portray in movies, or in novels, Soonyoung can barely recall how they first talked to each other. Just that they were studying at the same highschool. And then one day they started talking, and then they were inseparable. They're bestfriends. Maybe? It wasn't easy at first, he recalls fondly. They used to clash a lot because of their opposite personalities. Soonyoung, although introvert, has a lot of pent up energy that sometimes it explodes and Jihoon tends to be the collateral damage. They would bicker back and forth, and it was _mean_. They were young and stupid, and they would hurt each other using words without really intending to. There was so much wall between them, with Soonyoung being afraid to show the darkest part of him, the Soonyoung even he doesn't want to claim, and Jihoon locked up in his mighty prison that he himself has created. It was a struggle to get here. But they made it work. Slowly, they learned how to speak softly. They learned how to deal with each other best. They learned their differences and how to bridge that gap. They learned how to put each other in the right places without breaking any more chess pieces. From tolerating one another, they became so intertwined that none of them would know what to do without the other half.

Maybe Soonyoung can't remember how their friendship blossomed into something beautiful. But he damn well remembers the time he realized that what he's feeling for Jihoon is beyond what platonic relationship entails. 

He never really thought of himself as straight. Or to be more specific, Soonyoung isn't one to overly think about how a man or woman should be. Never really thought that it's a big deal. He never felt the need to be labeled or boxed in. His parents has always taught him that being who you are does not requires any explanation or a step by step description. It doesn't matter if he likes comics, and then loves cartoons. Doesn't matter if he likes feeling soft, or if he's in the mood to go smash in the arcade with his boys. _It doesn't_. He never had the crisis of finding out he's gay because his family taught him early on about embracing what you are and not having the necessity of putting a name on it.

Falling in love with shouldn't have been a surprise to him. But still, it caught him off guard. It wasn't like a punch in the gut. It was a slow build up and he was so disoriented at the fact that he wasn't able to see it.

Soonyoung can remember it down to the time and place his eyes were wide awaken to see what was infront of him all along. It was 4th of August, and despite the place being popular, Haeundae Beach has only a few tourists milling around. Maybe because it was already past 11 in the evening, or maybe because they chose a more secluded area. Soonyoung really wasn't paying attention. It's not something he thought mattered, not when he's out getting drunk with his friends. By this time, there were only five of them. With Seungcheol being Jihoon's neighbor since day one, Wonwoo being Soonyoung's family friend, and Junhui who he befriended in grade school and stuck around. They just graduated, the four of them, and Seungcheol, the ever doting hyung, drove them to the beach for atleast a night out. To get drunk and properly say goodbye to their youth.

It was then that Soonyoung realized how he imagines his future. Unconsciously, he had painted Jihoon in every nook and crannies. Whichever path he choose, wherever he goes, Jihoon is there. _He's gonna be there_. And when he looked at Jihoon, laughing and glowing against the dark night. He can't help but selfishly think, that he doesn't mind if his face is the last thing he would always see before he sleeps at night.

"He'd end up melting with how hard you're staring" Soonyoung flinched back to the present once he heard Jeonghan spoke. He shrugged. He never really did hide his feelings nor advances. It's just that Jihoon is either too used at him being clingy, or he just doesn't feel the same way. And while it'll hurt most people, it's not something Soonyoung minds. Afterall, it's enough for him that he can show his love.

"Do I need to wake him up now?" Soonyoung asked, seeing as Minghao finally woke up too and Chan stood up, groggily going out of their rented house.

"Make him eat. Then he can sleep again. It's past 3 hours since lunch time, and I know for a fact that he didn't had dinner last night nor breakfast earlier"

With that being said, Jeonghan left with Minghao. Probably to find the other kids. Leaving Soonyoung alone with Jihoon. He sighed. As much as he wants him to rest, he knows that Jeonghan is right about making him eat first.

"Ji" He poked him, receiving no response. "Jihoonie, wake up and eat." He tried tapping his cheeks but it only caused a nose scrunched before Jihoon turning his face the other way.

Soonyoung stared. Jihoon's face is so captivating. He's just in the between of being too handsome and too pretty. As if God can't choose what he should be and put him in the middle. His face is soft, the way his lips curls and then he has this cute button nose. But then his facial features are sharp. His eyes deadly, and his cheekbones high. He has a jawline that would make Soonyoung run for his money. He's both feminine and manly. Tough and fragile. And Soonyoung can't get enough of this duality. 

"Jihoon-ah, you have to eat" He patted his hair, before letting his hands wander to his face. Cupping his face and caressing both of his cheeks. This time he was met with a groan, but instead of waking up, Jihoon only nuzzled on his hands. And it was so cute Soonyoung can't help but chuckle.

"You're so cute. Jihoon-ah, I won't have a choice but to wake you up rudely" 

Still without an answer, Soonyoung finally let go of Jihoon's face. Taking a feather ( _it's an ornament he found at the side, he'll return it, swear to God_ ) and tickling Jihoon. Jihoon started to move in annoyance. Whining and finally opening his eyes to glare at Soonyoung. And he can't help but laugh because Jihoon honestly looks like a strangled cat.

"I'm going to fucking kill you"

"Maybe later, but eat first?" He offered, pointing at the takeout on the coffee table. But Jihoon didn't badge and still glares at him.

"Do I look I need some food?" He growled, voice low and Soonyoung would've been afraid but alas, he has been with Jihoon for half of his life. He's not one to get intimidated that easily. Especially with Jihoon who's more bark than bite.

"Fine, sleep all you want. Don't go all monster later once your belly start roaring" He hmped, crossing his arms and pouted exaggeratedly. Jihoon called him on his bullshit by rolling his eyes, and closing them again. Ready to go back to sleep.

"I'll eat later, but for the love of all fucking holy, stop waking me up"

Just after stating that, he was back to dream land. Soonyoung can't help but snort. Typical Jihoon. When he's in survival mode, he listens to his body more. Addressing which one is needed more. And apparently, food is the lesser concern.

Soonyoung sighed.

"Fine, whatever" He mumbled, before placing himself on Jihoon's lap. He's asleep, he won't mind. And besides, he used him as a bed in the car earlier. He needs to return the favor. Also, Soonyoung thought he need some company. So maybe he'll join him in sleeping.

  
  


  
When Jihoon comes to life, it's to a noisy surrounding. His head and body still heavy, and there's still a bit of fogginess staying in his head. But it wasn't as bad as earlier. When he tried to stretch his stiff muscles, that was the only time he was able to notice the extra weight on his lap. He looked down and found Soonyoung peacefully sleeping in his lap. Despite the loudness from their friends, the man on his lap is the picture of outmost serenity. 

It's almost funny how his usually sharp eyes mellowed down into cute tiny lines, his lips naturally pouty and his whole feature relaxed. He resist the urge to trace and caress his face, afraid to disturb the only peace in the middle of the chaos. His heart, that was previously beating fast upon finding him close, is finally slowing down just in time with Soonyoung's. Just the easy and light aura Soonyoung holds help in grounding Jihoon. Finally finding himself afloat, and saved. No longer lost, or drowning, or fighting the waves.

Soonyoung has that effect on him. He's the cause of the fluttering of his heart. The one that causes the jumbled mess in his head. He's the reason why his lungs constricts and sometimes it's hard to breathe. He's the reason for Jihoon's late night thinking. But he's also the one who helps Jihoon stay sane. The one who anchors Jihoon in reality and help his feet stay planted on the ground. He's the one who makes him feel safe and steady. With just one look, one touch, one word, from Soonyoung is enough to hold Jihoon and make him feel light.

Soonyoung is a paradox. He's a big mush of personalities and feelings but somehow, he makes it work. And Jihoon takes his time in knowing all of him. Every piece he holds dear in his heart and keep them safe in a memory. They've been friends for years, Jihoon has been in love with him for years, and yet, he still keeps on finding these little fragments of Soonyoung that takes him by surprise. Always. He's like an art piece, and Jihoon can't take off his eyes. Can't help but stare and stare, until he discover all the parts that were kept hidden.

He moved his hand to wake him up gently, but then noticed that his left hand is intertwined loosely with Soonyoung's. He felt the loud thunder of his heart. Can't help the smile that appeared on his face. Jihoon used to hate skinship. Uncomfortable of his own skin, it was hard for him to touch or be touched by other people. He won't let get anyone near. But Soonyoung is an exemption. He managed to make Jihoon believe in his own beauty and embraced all of him even with the thorns sharpened. Soonyoung didn't mind. Instead, he held on tighter. As if proving to Jihoon, that he's someone worth holding.

Jihoon can remember every little thing about Soonyoung, every little Soonyoung did for him, and every little thing about them. 

"Please, for the love of God, stop staring" Seungcheol groaned. Effectively snapping Jihoon from his stupor. He glared at the elder when Soonyoung showed signs of consciousness. He petted his hair, trying to soothe him and sighed when Soonyoung merely moved to hide his face on Jihoon's stomach.

"when will the two of you stop with the bullshit he's just my bestfriend thing? Honestly, you're just cockblocking yourself" Seungkwan said, rolling his eyes and sashaying his hands on the air like the diva that he is. Jihoon glared harder. These peasants don't know how and when to shut up. 

"Okay, that's enough. He just woke up, don't gang up on him like that" Joshua stopped all the teasing though Jihoon can see the shine of mischief in his eyes.

  
Jihoon sighed. It's not his fault that Soonyoung is easy to love. And it's not his fault that he can't hide it even though he tries hard. Somehow, even through the harsh words and curses, their friends can see just how much Soonyoung means to him. He doesn't know when he stopped trying honestly. And just let things happen. Once upon a time, he used to blush and pull away whenever Soonyoung holds his hand. Nowadays, he doesn't even think twice before curling around Soonyoung's body. 

It's like a change that everybody saw but chose to ignore. Although they are in this constant push and pull, Jihoon opens his world and let Soonyoung in. And Soonyoung in return, accepts all of him. Every shade of darkness, every crack and bruises. Soonyoung is Jihoon's safe zone. The person Jihoon knows he would be able to turn to. And Jihoon just hopes that he helps Soonyoung the same way. Because if there's one thing he wants to do for the rest of his life, it's to protect Soonyoung from the harsh and cruel fate of life.

  
"You should eat now" 

Jihoon flinched when Soonyoung mumbled, lips brushing against his thin shirt, and Jihoon wondered if he's kissing the butterflies that's celebrating on his stomach.

"How long have you been awake?" He asked, patting Soonyoung's back. And Soonyoung, like a cat, stretched his limbs, while yawning. Yet, he didn't move his head from Jihoon's lap.

"Shouldn't I be asking that? How long have you been awake? You should've woken me up. Actually, you should be eating now. I'll heat up your food, come to the kitchen" Soonyoung gave him light taps on the top of his head before waddling on the said kitchen. Jihoon slumped on the couch, pouting. He was enjoying the proximity.

"You're sharing room later, what are you pouting for"

Jihoon tried to hide how his mood brightened but he can't help the smile that glows on his face.

"I'm gonna eat" He stood up, and skipped down to the kitchen to go after Soonyoung and feed his little worms.

It was a weeklong vacation. And although Jihoon would rather sleep, he can't really deny that he missed spending time with his friends. Just unwinding and being silly together. Forgetting about being adult, and just let go. It was easy. It was light. Althrough the house, you can hear laughter here and there. There's the constant chatter and bickering. The yellings and screams of enjoyment. Jihoon basks in it. And let their friends manhandle him. Just doing what they decided what to do. He let Seokmin push him a game of volleyball. Played hours with Jeonghan and the others some silly computer games. And ate the foods Soonyoung keep putting on his plate.

His favorite part though, is the night time. Where everyone is finally subdued, and just staying in one place. Being reassured of each other's presence. Taking strength in each other's company. One by one, they would say goodnight. One by one, they would disappear to rest on their chosen room. Each night, Jihoon would be the last to stand up. And each night, Soonyoung would just be besides him waiting for him to take his hand.

They would silently prepare for bed, taking turns in the shower but brushing their teeth together. And once they're in their pajamas, they would be cuddling on the bed, with Soonyoung exploring his phone and Jihoon playing some game. They talk, whatever they miss in the seconds or minutes they're away from each other. And sometimes they let the silence consume them. Finding stability in each other's warmth.

  
These are the moments, where Jihoon let's himself wonder... _they don't have to stop being bestfriends just to be more than that, right?_

The day before they return to Seoul, Soonyoung woke him up at 4 in the morning. He was ready to fight him, and strangle him until he's back on the bed and providing warmth to Jihoon as he should. But then he noticed that Soonyoung is dressed, with coat on and shoes slipped on his feet.

  
"Where are you going?" He tried to rub the sleepiness away from his eyes, pinching himself to wake up a little bit faster.

"We're going to Busan, come on up"

"We? who's we?"

"We. As in me and you. Busan. Let's go, chop chop" 

  
Even though confused as hell, and still half asleep, Jihoon did get dressed. Putting on whatever clothes Soonyoung hands to him. His eyes aren't even open. He just let Soonyoung guides him out of the house, resting all of his weight on him as Soonyoung basically drag him to the car. Once Soonyoung has secured his seatbelt, he all but curls on his seat.

"I'll wake you up later"

Jihoon felt the ghost of his lips on his forehead. But he's not sure if it's just a product of his dream. So he didn't protest, and succumbed back to the dark.

It was still dark when he finally woke up and didn't find the need to punch someone just to be able to sleep again. The car is already parked, with a low music playing softly. He looked around and found that's still somewhat dark. The sky still dark, with the occasional lighter hue.

"Are we here?" He asked, voice rough from sleep.

"Yep, we still have a few minutes before going up so I let you sleep still" Soonyoung immediately handed him a thermos and Jihoon's heart leap with Joy upon smelling the hot coffee inside.

Jihoon looked out the window, and though it's dark, he can see glimpses of what the outside looks like. He stopped sipping his coffee once his mind registered just how familiar the place is.

"Where...." He trailed off. He can recall Soonyoung saying that they're going to Busan. But he expected something like the closest beach, or maybe their old neighborhood. Not this.

The place is still green. The plants and trees surrounding it still healthy and blooming despite it being left uncared for. Jihoon can still remember the times in Highschool when he and Soonyoung would ditch the world, and with all their might, bike their way from the city to this secluded place. It's a trail. A small one that leads to a high clearing if you have the patience to hike it. It's not as stiff as the other mountains, nor as abundant as the other forests. But it gives off the feeling of privacy and detachment. That's the reason why they used to go here. Just the two of them. It might sound cliche, but it's their place. Or well used to be. It's where they disappear to when everything starts to overwhelm them. And they would regroup here. Find themselves, fix their loose ends, and then return back to reality. He's not even sure how they found it. Or how they decided to keep on coming back. Or how it becomes a hiding place for the two of them. It just happened. Until they moved to seoul. The place wasn't forgotten, no. Jihoon has too many memories with it. But it was far from Seoul. And it was hard to find the time to even look back. Sad as it may be, but they haven't really been back here since they left Busan for college.

"You up? We were near, so I thought we might as well catch the sunrise before going back to Seoul"

He doesn't need to be told twice. He immediately got off the car, ignoring Soonyoung's quiet laughter and the coffee now forgotten on the passenger seat. He looked around and it felt like nostalgia slapped him right across the face. He can feel his heart pound, loud thumpings that rivals the beats of a drum. It roars. Making his blood boil, in a good way. It pulsates in his vein, rushing and electrifying him. He's almost vibrating out of his skin.

"Miss this?" Soonyoung asked, and Jihoon whipped around to look at the man. He's leaning on the hood of the car, a backpack on one shoulder and arms crossed. He's trying to smirk but it only comes off as a fond smile. Jihoon can't help but giggle.

"Damn yeah I do" He skipped to where Soonyoung is. Giddy, happy. Just...he feels like he's now full of energy and yet, it makes him feel light. 

Soonyoung gave Jihoon the flashlight, and held his hand out which Jihoon immediately grasped. Pulling Soonyoung excitedly to the old trail he still memorized by heart. They talked about silly things going up. You'd think that by this time, they'll run out of things to say. But it's never a problem for the both of them. Jihoon tends to be talkative when he's around Soonyoung, and Soonyoung never seems to run out of things to say just to make Jihoon smile. They stopped from time to time, just to take some pictures. Or to sip some coffee. But they arrived on the clearing just in fifteen minutes. 

It was just in time. The sky is starting to melt from indigo to a cerulean blue. In the distance, Jihoon can see the clouds making way for the light. The place is suddenly wrapped in a dreamlike state, glowing in a soft kind of radiance that makes the colors a little bit brighter but the lingering darkness mellows it out. It was refreshing. Satisfying. It's almost like they stepped into a different reality where everything is just veiled in softness. It was so serene. The place looking undisturbed but not unruly.

Soonyoung, apparently, brought a mat and blanket, a few snacks and sandwiches. They set it up close to the edge, simply because it's prettier to watch the sunrise from there.

"When did you plan this?" He asked Soonyoung, playing with his hair as the man lies down with his head on his lap. Jihoon doesn't mind. He must've been so tired preparing all of these while Jihoon stayed oblivious from all of it.

"Once I found out where we were renting. It was only a drive away, and I thought why not? Mingyu made the sandwiches by the way." Jihoon chuckled. Of course. Soonyoung isn't really helpful in the kitchen. He can't even cook to save his life.

"Thankyou for bringing me back here" He muttered softly and his heart going wild at the fond smile Soonyoung gave him. Thank god Soonyoung closed his eyes, or else he'll see him blushing. 

"We should've done this before. I don't know why we stopped going"

"Time. We got busy. But maybe, we can do that now. We just needed a little reminder, 'is all" He sighed. They still have atleast 20 minutes before they see the sun ascend the sky. And even then, Jihoon doesn't know if he'll be able to leave the place. If he's honest, he really doesn't want to. 

"Maybe we should"

He only hummed as answer. Staring at the distance as he continuously pet Soonyoung's hair. Everything is so calm. Eventually, Soonyoung got up to watch the sunrise with him. They weren't talking, simply basking in each other's presence. Soonyoung does hold his hand in the middle though, and Jihoon only greet the sun with a smile. 

"I want to keep going back here" Soonyoung suddenly said. Voice soft as a feather, a strange longing clinging in his words. Jihoon Squeezed his hands.

"We would, Soons"

"I want to keep coming back here with you. Maybe we can built a house nearby. Adopt a dog, a cat and a turtle. And we'll all go up here. And then we can keep watching the sunrise. Holding hands like this" 

Soonyoung brought Jihoon's hand to his mouth. Finding each other's eyes, Soonyoung slowly kiss each knuckles and then kissing the back of his palm as the last. Jihoon inhaled sharply as Soonyoung's admittance register in his brain. But instead of speeding up and loudly roaring, his heart melts. Slowing down until he feels floaty. He's all sorts of delicate, dainty. As if Soonyoung is holding his heart preciously with both hands. Secured, but gentle.

"Yeah...I want that too"

Soonyoung doesn't need the reassurance. Jihoon has loved him for so long that he has forgotten how not to. It's not overbearing but it's slipping, sipping through the edges. Reaching for him, wrapping all over him. His love is silent, but it's there. Strong and resilient. Present. Just waiting to be acknowledged, waiting to be recognized. 

"Yeah? Until we're old?" Soonyoung whispered, leaning close. Jihoon can't help but bring his free hand up, caressing the face of the man he's promising his future to. Because Jihoon doesn't love lightly. And he has long given his everything to Soonyoung. His heart, his soul...his future. There's no version of Jihoon in any universe that isn't besides Soonyoung.

"To the end, Soonyoung" He whispered back.

Their kiss was as soft as the morning dew. Airy, like the wind that wraps them both in a lovely shiver. Soonyoung tastes like coffee and strawberries. Saccharine...sweet but pleasant. Addicting. It was him who pressed harder, who closed the gap. Moving his lips to taste more of him, opening his mouth to let him in, pulling him close to his body. The sun beams reflecting their shadows as one, glowing and shining down upon them but Jihoon does not give a single care right now.

  
"I've loved you for so long" Soonyoung marked the words on his eyelids, on his cheeks, on his jaw. Mapping his face, and discovering sensations they weren't allowed to trace before.

"I know. I've loved you the same. Love you still" He gasped. Love pouring out of him, but Soonyoung giving it back twice as much. It was exhilarating. Being able to touch, to look, to cross the boundaries they were dying to get rid of. It's intoxicating, the way he doesn't have to hold back. Not his words, not his actions, not his feelings. It's breathtaking, to know Soonyoung in a different way. Meeting him in a different sense. They're threading in new waters, but it's not really as dangerous as they thought it would be.

"Jihoon-ah...be mine" Soonyoung's eyes are shining, brighter than anything he has seen. His smile is full of love, so so so tender and Jihoon is so so so weak for him. And Soonyoung, he should've known. Should've seen it coming. Because Jihoon has long given himself up to him.

_"I have always been yours"_

  
They weren't able to build a house near the place like they had planned. But they were able to save enough money to buy the land and took ownership of what was once a simple childhood getaway. They did built a tree house in the clearing, a space just enough to sleep on when the night gets dark and they decided to stay and watch the stars. They would reserve three days of each month to drive that four hours of distance, unwinding and spending some quality time with each other still secluded from the rest of the world. They did introduce the place to their friends. And once in awhile, they would held the gathering there. Putting up tents and sitting through the night warmed by the bonfire. 

That's also where they held their wedding. It wasn't real, it would never be in Korea. But still. Their friends decorated the place with flowers and fairy lights. Bringing wine and champagne, as they watched the two of them exchanged bows with the moon glimmers and the stars wink down on them. They exchanged rings that night, and Jihoon never removed it since then.

  
"Baby, why are you awake?" Jihoon felt Soonyoung pull him close until he's tucked under his chin, pressed just right on his chest.

"I'm excited" He mumbled. Hugging his husband back. Oh yeah, they did get married. Three years after holding their magical wedding ( _he refuses to call it fake_ ) on the clearing, they flew to Malta and had an official wedding attended only by their parents and friends.

"We still have a few hours. Sleep, baby. You're driving us tomorrow, remember?" Soonyoung started to hum, rubbing his back in a comforting manner. Jihoon smiled, pressing a kiss on his collarbones.

"Hey, I love you" He mumbled. And He felt Soonyoung press a kiss on top of his head.

  
"Happy anniversary, babe. And I love you, but seriously you need to sleep" Jihoon just chuckled before snuggling on his chest. Content, and happy. 

_Warmth_.

_Loved_. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, if you get this far. I just want to say thank you and I'm absolutely proud of you for reading through that messy shit. I'm really unhappy with this piece because I lost the feelings and inspiration in the middle of it and it turned out...like this. I'm sorry.
> 
> I wasn't gonna post it. But I might as well. Since I never claimed to be a good writer, I should just dump everything here 😂😂😂
> 
> Anyways, scream @ me in twitter about Soonhoon. But please don't fight me about my stories, I'm very fragile.


End file.
